Remembering Atanasi: Our Boy, Our Brother, Our Family

Atanasi at 11 years old

There are some phone calls you wish you could receive just one more time.

Years after Atanasi had grown up and started his own life, he would still call me out of the blue. Sometimes simply to say, “I love you,” and to thank me again for being part of his life.

What I hope he knew is how grateful I was to be part of his.

Atanasi joined our Emmanuel Center family when he was ten years old. He became one of the 21 boys I had the privilege of helping raise. They grew up together, went to school together, and became brothers. They looked out for one another, and Atanasi knew he held an important place in that family.

Raising 21 boys full of energy was an adventure. I did not always get everything right, but I loved them, and I tried. Watching them grow into their own lives has been one of the greatest privileges of mine.

When I think of Atanasi, I remember his determination. One day, he was discouraged because he believed his height meant he could not ride a bicycle. The next day, we brought him a small bike that fit him. His face lit up. He had not known a bicycle came in his size. Within twenty minutes, he was riding on two wheels.

I still treasure that memory: his excitement, his willingness to try, and the joy of discovering something he thought was beyond his reach.

Taking recently

Alongside that determination was such a kind heart. My daughter Noella remembers how he would stop and encourage her when she was little. It means so much to me that this is her memory of him- that he was a safe person. Even as a boy, he took time to make someone younger feel noticed and cared for. My son Enoch called me several times the day we were told to "check on me" but I know it was to hear my voice in such a sad day. We cried tears for days, we sent our finanical offerings for the funeral which is customary for Tanzanians and we just talked. On one call he said, "Mom he was one of my favorites" I held the other end of the phone in tears and said "he was special to me too".

Atanasi remained close to his biological family, visiting often and spending much of his adult life back home. As he grew older, he also kept his connection with me. Those unexpected calls meant more than I can say. Every time I saw him, I felt proud.

I have never measured our boys’ lives by how much money they make, the cars they drive, or whether they have the latest phone. I care that they can work, build their lives, treat people kindly, and continue growing in their relationships with God.

There was so much in Atanasi’s life to be proud of.

His death was unexpected, and we are grieving. His family and his Emmanuel Center brothers and family came together, raised the money needed, and laid him to rest with love. Being so far away from everyone during this time has been deeply painful. I hope to return to Tanzania in January so we can gather, remember him, and give ourselves time to grieve together.

For now, I hold onto the memories: a little bicycle, a face full of joy, the kindness my daughter remembers, and a grown man calling just to say he loved me.

Atanasi, I love you too. I am so proud of you, and I will miss you.

Please keep his family, his Emmanuel Center brothers, and all who loved him in your prayers.

With love,

Jill